Trying To Be Human In A World Obsessed With Perfect
A personal reflection on perfectionism, self-worth, and learning to stop performing happiness all the time. This is for anyone tired of feeling like they have to be their “best self” to deserve love, confidence, or rest.
“maybe confidence doesn’t come from becoming flawless. Maybe it comes from trusting ourselves enough to exist imperfectly.” - Natalie
Isanyone else also exhausted? And I don’t mean ‘tired-because-I-need-sleep exhausted’ I mean emotionally exhausted from constantly trying to keep up with this invisible pressure to look good, be productive, stay positive, post the right thing, say the right thing, become the “best version” of ourselves. Be PERFECT.
Clearly I’ve been thinking a lot about perfection lately and how hard I’ve chased it for most of my life, believing that if I could just become “better” enough, prettier enough, calmer enough, more successful enough, more healed enough, etc etc…then I’d finally feel worthy of being seen.
But the strange thing is… perfection never actually brought me closer to myself OR any of my goals and desires. It only made me perform harder and feel further away from all of it. Because how much of it is performance vs reality.
And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think a lot of us are doing that right now? Performing wellness. Performing confidence. Performing happiness. Performing “having it all together.”
Meanwhile, we’re further away than we’ve ever been before.
SO, let’s talk about it.
The pressure to always be “thriving”
I’ve realised something recently: I used to believe I was only truly “myself” when I was doing well. When I felt confident, when I looked good, when work was exciting, when I was productive, when people were validating me, when life felt shiny…but I’m still me on the bad days too.
I’m still me when I feel insecure, when I’m anxious, when I’m grieving, when I don’t know what I’m doing, when I disappear from Instagram for a week because my nervous system needs silence more than it needs content.
So then I realized, maybe confidence doesn’t come from becoming flawless. Maybe it comes from trusting ourselves enough to exist imperfectly.
And that brings me back to Candid…it’s something we see all the time atthe studio. People walk in convinced they’re “awkward in photos” or “not photogenic” or that they need to lose weight/change something/fix something before they need “perfect” photos of themselves.
Then something shifts.
The magic isn’t about the camera. It’s about what happens when people stop performing and start relaxing into themselves. And once they realise they don’t have to pose perfectly to be worthy of being seen, it ALL comes together.
And what I’m realizing, is that I think life works like that too.
Unlearning perfection
I’ve spent years trying to control how I’m perceived. Overly curating, overthinking, trying to be polished, trying to avoid rejection, trying to avoid judgment. But perfectionism is sneaky because it disguises itself as ambition.
And for me, it often came from fear. Fear that if I wasn’t “my best,” I wouldn’t be loved. Fear that if people saw the messy parts, they’d leave. Fear that being human somehow made me less valuable. But lately I’ve been trying to shift that narrative and I’ve started asking myself: What if the thing holding me back wasn’t my imperfection… but my obsession with hiding it?
Maybe the reason I’ve sometimes struggled to fully put myself out there is because I thought I had to arrive as a perfected version of myself first. But life doesn’t really work like that. The people I feel safest around are never the most polished people. They’re the people who feel real and who let themselves laugh loudly, cry openly, change their minds, admit they don’t know everything. Aka the people who let themselves be human.
A softer way forward
Conclusion? I don’t really want to live an “impressive” life anymore. I want to live a real one.
A life where I’m allowed to have wobbly weeks, where creativity matters more than performance, where connection matters more than image, where I stop abandoning myself every time I think somebody else might approve of a different version of me more.
Sothis is my reminder…to myself as much as anyone reading:
You are still you on the messy days. You are still worthy when you’re uncertain. You are still lovable when you’re healing. You are still enough before you become whatever version of yourself you think you need to be next.
And guess what? The most beautiful thing about being human is that we were never meant to be polished all the time anyway.
Love, Natalie Ava Nasr xo
Thinking about booking your own self-portrait session? We’d love to meet you and remind you that you never needed to be perfect to deserve beautiful photos of yourself.
